Homes and People that Age Gracefully

  Like all physical things, houses break down, age, wear, and deteriorate.  It's easy for me, my close friends, and also my clients to get caught up in the perfection of staged, brand new remodel and new-build Instagram photos that inform our psyche on what to aspire to in a home.  As a designer I look for materials that last; quality products that won't require a lot of maintenance, and that will outlive the cycle of fads and trends. But even solid stone eventually crumbles.  Even with great designs; over time; wood weathers, flashings fail, debris builds up where it shouldn't, the ground settles, and moisture seeps in.  Add kids, weather, daily human use and occasional accidents and a beautiful house ages.  

Like our physical bodies, our homes require maintenance and upkeep.  Paint, sweeping, mopping, gutters, windows, weeds, tree trimming oiling, shining, hiring, tool maintenance, appliance repair, swapping out those hard to reach light bulbs, fixing that leak, watering the plants.. does it feel overwhelming?  

I enjoy living in a beautiful house, but I don't think it's a home until it is recognizable to the inhabitants by the sounds, smells and nostalgia it invokes.  The creak of the stairs, the dusty smell of the 100 year old piano, the fray on the antique table runner.  These aren't signs of corruption, just life.  I don't want my home maintenance to fall behind, but I also don't want the the house to own me due to it's consistent need for upkeep.  I guess I am trying to find that fine line between accepting calmly the natural aging of a home and eternally stalking the premises with a toolbelt and trolly of cleaning tools?  

It might sound like I'm saying that I don't like housework, and I can see how you could take it that way, and let's be honest, it does get old, but I do like home maintenance.  However, if we are meant to spend our entire lives doing chores, then this life is not for me.  And I also think that if our home is so extensive that we have to hire an army of workers to maintain it, then I could make the argument that things may be out of balance.  At least for me, they would be.  

As summer weeds are beginning to flower and I race to gather them before they infect the whole property.. my feeling of overwhelm and exhaustion creeps in. My family tells me that my expectations are too high, and they probably are. I read a flower book that said, "happy is the gardener who learns to love the dandelion."  I wonder. I always think there is a way to do it all.  I really don't want those teasle and thistle and tansy to spread.  And it is also true that my house is.. um.. not as clean in the summer.  When do teenagers take over the cleaning? Is this something that ever happens?  Can't they see I'm gardening???